I’m a man… and a pretty stereotypical man at that. My wife is a “crier” (cryer?) and I am cool with it. As long as she is okay with me rarely crying, we will be alright. Cryer or non-cryer distinction aside, the general practice of handling/identifying/reflecting emotions is a mark of a spiritually mature believer. Typically, the easiest red flag to spot in a young believer is their emotional instability. Also, even mature Christians are likely to be harboring some old emotional pains, which maybe are unknowingly effecting their lives.
Here is what i’ve realized: Past emotional pain distorts our actions and decision making. If we aren’t careful, our past pain can lead us into future pain. The dangers of unaddressed emotional pains are many, but I would like to touch on two dangers, that really are two sides of the same coin. Two foggy lenses, that cloud our vision both internally and externally.
On one side of the coin we have internal issues: self-doubt, insecurities, self-image issues, etc. Usually these issues manifest themselves in two ways: being withdrawn or being overly dependent on the opposite sex’s approval. The other side of the coin is just as common and it involves your external view on life. (Whereas the first one is classified as an “insecurity” I like to call this one an “out-security.” it has no deep meaning, just a fun thing to do.) These issues usually take the form of being “guarded” or “closed off.” Basically, it results in always thinking you are right and everyone is wrong–there is no trust factor. You won’t see something that is positive and helpful, all you will see is a potential to get hurt again.
Listen, I am not a counselor nor a psychiatrist. I am writing this and giving examples to hopefully help someone identify with one of the issues. My hope is, if you do relate, you can be healed of this emotional pain. Psalm 23 says “the Lord restores my soul.” Who wants to go through life bitter, jaded and angry? For the sake of your future relationships, ask God to point out any past emotional pains you might be holding on to and then take the step towards being healed. They say time heals all wounds, but that is only true if the person wants to be healed. Do you want to be?
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